ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self Made Millionaire: You & Money: It’s Complicated

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self Made Millionaire: You & Money: It’s Complicated

Remember that childhood rhyme song we’d sing when we liked a boy ? “Linda and Sammy sitting in a tree; k-i-s-s-i-n-g, 1st comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby sitting in a baby carriage.” Corny and ohhhh so out of date; but the point is that Money is a relationship, just like the one we have with a person. And, that relationship can either be just as dysfunctional or functional as we allow it to be. I haven’t always had a functional one and you’ll be very shocked when I share with you the most dysfunctional thing I ever did to earn money. Read about that at the end of this post…

Money plays a major role in all our relationships and yet most of us don’t take care of our relationship with money at all or at least nowhere near as much as we spend energy on managing the ups and downs of our personal relationships. A successful (functional) relationship with money brings many rewards including financial peace of mind, positive self-worth and improved personal relationships. I won’t go into the unending list of the negative consequences of a dysfunctional relationship because most of us have seen, heard or lived it ourselves. And, yet, just like that childhood rhyme promises, we think that having that first flush of money is like a new romance that will 1st give us a big delicious kiss, evolve itself into a long-lasting marriage and then give us a enchanting new life…magically all on its’ own. NOT reality at all.

Here is what I’ve learned along the road to transforming my relationship with money from dysfunctional to functional that allowed me to become a self made millionaire. A healthy happy money marriage is based on what I call the M&M’s of Money:

1. Money Messages (consciously carrying positive beliefs)
2. Manifestation Behaviors (consistently taking positive action)
3. Money Management (taking personal responsibility)

When I work with my clients, I can see, hear and feel where they are at with their M&M’s of money without going into rehashing of childhood experiences that may have root caused their dysfunctional relationship with money. It’s much easier than you believe to get out of a bad money relationship and into a new positive one.

Here are the Top Three Ways to Make Your Money Relationship a Success:

1. Identify the main money message you currently carry. Some common ones are:
. Money is hard to make
. Money is the root of all evil
. Rich people don’t care about people. They only care about themselves
. The rich get rich and the poor get poorer
. People won’t like me if I have more than they do
Now remake your money message into a new positive one. Write it down. Say it everyday.

2. Take a quick self-inventory of your Money behaviors — and be honest with yourself!
Do you avoid talking about money with your partner(s)? Do you hand the responsibility blindly over to someone else? Do you know what’s going on or not going on with your money? Do you overspend or under-spend? Essentially, do you have self-limiting or self-loving behaviors? Today, write down one self-loving behavior you will commit to take consistent action on to move you to greater self-worth, and consequently, net-worth.

3. Ask yourself what you are currently doing to manage your money in a way that will lead you to feel financially more secure. Functional money management isn’t about accumulating as much money as you possibly can. It’s about managing your money to attain financial peace of mind and a lifestyle of a balanced achievement of both wealth and well-being. Now, commit to taking charge of one new money management task. Write it down and share it with your partner or someone you trust. Saying it out loud and sharing it with another person makes it much more likely that you will follow through on your self-promise.

At the end of the day, I’ve learned that if you want something you haven’t yet got, then you have to do something new to get it. And, in the words of Bishop Beckwaith:

Plant a thought and reap a word;
plant a word and reap an action;
plant an action and reap a habit;
plant a habit and reap a character;
plant a character and reap a destiny.

OK, now go get yourself some really good M&M’s and have yourself a happy, prosperous money marriage! You’ll be amazed how quickly you can make it happen!

In closing, as promised, my shocking confession about the most dysfunctional thing I ever did to make money. I accepted a job as a undercover corporate spy for the owner/CEO of the most prominent dating service in the United States. At first, I thought — hey it can’t hurt to just go deep inside the major competition’s company and take a look around and report what I saw. I had a secret entrance and elevator up to the owner’s office. I would report my findings, he’d hand me a large amount of cash and then and I’d vanish before anyone could see me. Then one day, he asked me to start causing disharmony and to spread false rumors — I promptly quit, Johnny on the spot and never went back. I learned a valuable moral lesson that I carry forward with me to this day. Temptations will always exist to test our faith in ourselves and our moral character. But, it is when we have the courage to resist it and not give in to fear that otherwise we won’t be able to achieve what we want…we attain the power to achieved far greater success then we could have ever imagined.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self Made Millionaire Vol. 3 Show Me The Money

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self Made Millionaire Vol. 3 Show Me The Money

Remember Tom Cruise yelling “show me the money!” in the movie Jerry Maguire?

How could we forget. Tom Cruise as the uber slick and successful sports agent who one day at work has a aha moment and realizes he’s become just another shark in a suit who had let go of all the reasons why he’d become an agent in the 1st place. He reveals his feelings to his company in a company wide memo which promptly gets him fired. All his clients, with the exception of one player, immediately disassociate themselves from him. Suddenly, he’s flying solo in starting his newco with only one client and is desperate to make it a success. He took a bold leap of faith and what he learned in the process earned him riches not just financially, but in all areas of his life.

The movie is chuck full of take away wisdom for every person who wants to become successful or already is successful and wants to stay that way. It showcases key significant behaviors of what I call the “born to be a success” brand of person. As a 30 yr plus entrepreneur who is either being solicited for new biz opportunities or soliciting for new hires, I bear personal witness to the truth that only 1% of people actually exhibit the key success behaviors. I’d like to help move that number much higher.

OK, so how does this all relate to “SHOW ME THE MONEY” movie reference.

Here it is…Tom Cruise started out by just muttering the words that his only client wanted to hear him say. SHOW ME THE MONEY. They were just empty words to him. But, his client kept pushing him to dig deep and feel the passion in himself. He was moved beyond fear and into purpose.

We all have the ability to accomplish what Jerry Maguire did. But, you gotta REALLY wanna!

Here are the Top Eight behaviors of highly successful people:

  1. Does not let any person or situation stop them from achieving their goal(s)
  2. Understands that being “shown the money” comes only after proving themselves as reliable, consistent, trustworthy and able to add value to a relationship. Are generous with investing time, energy and money towards earning business, customer loyalty and retention
  3. Always puts values before profit. They understand if they lose themselves, they risk losing everything (in all areas of their life)
  4. Stays hungry for success regardless of how much success they may have already achieved. Never takes success or their relationships for granted
  5. Does not tender BS or make false promises. Says what they mean and does what they say
  6. Takes consistent initiative to deliver results beyond what is expected. Goes the extra mile
  7. Has a contagious enthusiasm and engaging personality. It’s proven that if someone isn’t excited about what they do–then you can expect results that reflect that lack of enthusiasm

And, last but not least, the biggest trait of a “born to be a success” brand of person is this…drum roll please…..


Virtually every week I am astonished at how many people do not show up for or follow through on opportunities that they themselves put into motion. At the end of the day: NO SHOW UP – never ever going to be SHOWN THE MONEY.

In conclusion, my shocking confession. I once had a very lucrative wall street opportunity that I almost blew because I didn’t want to do what was requested in order to earn the privilege of a 1st meeting with the client. You see, the client didn’t want to provide any information to me at all unless I was willing to jump on a plane and fly out of state to meet in person. I was told that if I sent them confirmation of my plane reservations, that while I was mid-air over to them, they’d email me all the data that I had requested so I’d have it before I landed. My first unspoken thought was…uggh..#@!#, I think you can guess. Then I got a hold of myself, took the risk and made the reservations. The result was a great relationship and being awarded a signed contract.

Are you showing up for success?