ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Be Humbly & Hugely Successful

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Be Humbly & Hugely Successful

Super Sized Success is attained and sustained by those who possess specific character qualities. It’s been proven, time and time again, that focusing on becoming more rather than having more, is critical to the achievement of optimal wealth and well-being. Essentially, becoming what I call “inside rich” is the key to becoming ultra-successful.

What’s so awesome about having a primary goal of becoming “inside rich” is that virtually anyone can achieve it. There is zero external barrier to attaining it. You do not need an education, money or even a business to become inside rich. All you need is one character quality to achieve it. That virtue is HUMILITY.

Contrary to the belief that humility renders a person powerless, it infuses one with great physical and mental strength, instilling an ability to persevere and succeed amidst challenges, obstacles and opposition. Humility is the ultimate shield of self-protection. Without it’s shelter, it leaves one vulnerable to failure.

“Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” Mathew 23:12

Humility is an insurance policy protecting one’s very important personal assets to success: inner peace, mental, physical, spiritual and financial well-being. Without protecting these invaluable assets, one’s pride and ego step in to overrun the show. Ego run riot causes it to rain ruin rather than reign success.

Our greatest opportunity for success lies in living a humble life free from false pride and pretense. Mere words cannot express the sheer magnitude of the important role that humility plays in achieving and sustaining success.

Here Are the Top Ten Ways to Become Humbly and Hugely Successful:

1. Do not seek attention or admiration

2. Do not be concerned what others think of you. Only care what your higher power thinks of you

3. Fight off all forms of pride

4. Do not fear criticism. Use it to your advantage to correct personal faults or flaws

5. Do not compare yourself to others

6. Be impressed only by your servant leadership ability and ability to stay humble

7. Refuse to fight over unimportant matters

8. Remember, silence often carries more power than words

9. Seek not to judge, but to understand

10. See commonalities and not differences

By thinking, walking and talking humility in all your affairs, you will be gracefully guided to greater self-awareness, personal development, creativity, compassion, intuitive intelligence, and a positive mental attitude; making you “inside rich” for the attainment of Super Sized Success.

In Closing My Shocking Confession: I was having a rough week where nothing seemed to be getting done well enough or fast enough. I started to compare my accomplishments with others who have gone before me…I was getting moody and irritable…thinking I would never achieve the degree of positive impact that I aspired to. I caught myself real quick and went to meditate to self-correct my stinking thinking. I asked one question before commencing meditation: What would you have me do differently? I set the timer for 30 min and went deep. When the timer chimed, I had a very clear cut and concise answer: “Do not care about the impact you will have. Care only about doing the work. Caring about impact is the ego. Caring only about doing the work is the divine.” Wow! Blew me away! I hope it does you too.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Success: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Success: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

The musical fantasy film, The Wizard of Oz, became an icon of American popular culture, was named the most watched movie on television and the National Film Registry called for it to be preserved because of it being “culturally, historically, and aesthetically significant”. And, mothers everywhere lullaby their children to sleep singing the films academy award winning best original song, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.

“Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”

The movie and its characters, through powerful storytelling, have tapped into the core of our human emotions. Who among us hasn’t wanted to run away from home to escape our problems, gotten lost, and wanted to believe that if we just wished hard enough, our dream would become a reality and we’d magically be transported to our ideal life.

“Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far Behind me”

A wonderful fantasy indeed.  Success, however, isn’t “somewhere over the rainbow”. But, hold on. Don’t be discouraged. I have something even more exciting for you. Success is right in front of you! That is, if you dare, not only to dream it, but to believe and take action on it each and every day.  There exist two brands of dreamers: #1. the dreamers who endlessly dream and #2. the dream-makers.  The latter brand of dreamers are the ones who know a dream is non-reality until it is made manifest into reality.

If you desire to move from dreamer to dream-maker, there is one simple, yet magical success behavior, you must adopt. Should you decide to embrace it, you will attain your dream in minimum time – regardless if your skies are cloudy or blue. The magical singular step is …. Don’t Wait.

Here Are the 5 Common Signs You’re Delaying Your Success:

1. Waiting for the perfect future day to begin taking action. Monday, after the holidays, the New Year or until the beginning of the month. Just start now. Take action.

2. Waiting on “the one” person (the Wizard of OZ syndrome). Don’t put all your eggs in one basket by courting only one person to deliver you what you need or want. Do keep moving forward planting more seeds of opportunity until you achieve results. Don’t stand in a hold position while waiting for a “yes” from a single source.

3. Engaging in the “someday” syndrome. “Someday when I get enough money”, “someday when I feel better about myself”, or “once this problem is resolved”. There is always a way to take action regardless of any current circumstances.

4. Living in the big picture dream without having a plan. Don’t just have a plan, but know specifically what you want. It’s very important to know what it means if for example, when you say “I want to be rich”. What is rich? Is it money? How much? You must know. Once you do, then you can detail out a plan and time line to achieve it.

5. Playing it too safe by not taking calculated risks. A sure sign that fear is getting the best of you and causing delays. Get out there. Be daring. A “no” is just a step closer to victory. Don’t wait for your work to be “perfect” because that time will never come.

“Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days…What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has Magic, Power and Genius in it.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Dorothy, swept up in a tornado, lands in an unfamiliar, challenging landscape far away from home. She keeps moving forward regardless of what obstacles she faces on her path to finding the magical one person who holds the power to whisk her safely and happily home. In the end, her journey taught her an invaluable truth. That she alone held the power to make her dream come true.

In closing my shocking confession: I was hit by a tornado when I discovered I had a life-threatening condition. I was told that I needed to stop running marathons, vegetarianism, and living in the city. The experts all agreed I should stop working, give up my career and avoid all stress. The journey to find the one person who would save me by telling me that I didn’t have to give up my values and goals to survive was fraught with scary nay-saying characters.  The Wizard never appeared. I had to be courageous and be my own guide. I kept moving forward to achieve my goals whether I’d be here for a mere few months or many years to come.  I discovered that, I alone, held the power within me to take me safely home to live the life of my dreams.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Kick Ask for Success

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Kick Ask for Success

There is one major overriding principle for achieving success in any, all areas of one’s life. It isn’t a “secret” and it can’t be bought. In fact, it’s free, requires no education, isn’t complicated, has zero learning curve, can immediately be utilized to achieve rapid success and has only one barrier to entry which is 100% within your own control to eliminate. And, yet, as a success coach and a veteran serial entrepreneur, I witness many who chose not to use this not-so-secret-weapon.

Now, when I tell you what it is, you’re gonna say “that’s sooo nothing new and sooo obvious”. But, I can assure you, from one who has had the privilege to work with people and companies from Wall Street to Main Street, it is a far under-utilized asset. An asset, no less, that virtually everyone possesses. It’s called the Ask Asset.  Yes, that’s it, plain and simple. ASK for what you want and need.

“By asking for the impossible we obtain the possible.” Proverb

The only barrier to entry keeping you from attaining whatever it is that you want, is your decision not to ask for it. If it is that simple, then why do so many fail to use the asset they inherently possess?  Not to get too deep into the psychology of it, but the core reason is that they are in a struggle to uphold a specific image of themselves. A healthy ego is a humble ego. It’s one that’s able to give others props for their success, realistic with themselves about what they do and don’t have, and able to go after what they want despite any fear of rejection or how they are going to be perceived by others.  Reminding yourself that asking for what you want reveals strength and courage rather than weakness will help catalyze your efforts to kick ask.

Here are the Six Steps to Kick Start Your Way to Kicking Ask for Success:

Step 1: Admit to yourself exactly what you want and need.

Step 2: Make a list of people who can provide it.

Step 3: Prioritize the list starting with the person you’re most comfortable reaching out to.

Step 4: Identify what you will give in return for the ask.

Step 5: Start asking 1 person per day minimum until you achieve results.

Step 6: Remain flexible and open. What you may think you want and need when you start out may evolve into receiving something far more valuable than you could have ever imagined.

I can guarantee you, if you are reasonable and rational in your “ask”, and offer something of value in exchange, you will not only achieve success for yourself, but will be delivering win-win outcomes for all parties involved.

In Closing My Shocking Confession: I was up against a hard wall. I urgently needed a large infusion of cash or suffer dire consequences. I only had 7 days to turn the impossible into the possible. My false pride was hitting me in the face. What would they think when I picked up the phone and asked for the money I needed especially within that impossible time frame? I had to let go, get out of my own way and get into action PRONTO. I hit the phones and started calling everyone on my list who I knew had what I needed while knowing I had something in exchange that would benefit them. The outcome was nothing short of miraculous. The 1st person I called offered close to what I needed. The 2nd person I called, said “Hey, I know what you’re going through. We’ve all been there one time or another. Let’s make this happen right now.”  They gave me the exact amount of cash I needed in exchange for something I no longer needed which they in turn valued. The money was wired into my account in under 72 hours. I got out of my own way, made the ask and everyone came out ahead.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Romancing Success: The Four Agreement Advantage

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Romancing Success: The Four Agreement Advantage

What do most of us think of when we decide we want a new client, new job, romantic partner, business partner, a raise, promotion, market share, funding, to become a known brand, or even to get accepted into a private club or school? Our mind begins to race in developing a plan to woo and wow, wine and dine, put on our best “game face” and/or produce a brilliant “dog and pony show”.

We may believe the above is how to go about the business of romancing success (because that’s what we’ve been conditioned to believe), but it isn’t. It isn’t about putting on a show to present an image we believe the other party wants to see. It’s quite the opposite.

Romancing success starts from within. It’s an inside job. Not an outside job. It’s the internal condition of a person that catalyzes or neutralizes external success. Great internal conditioning equals great external success. It’s really that simple.

Society bombards us with external stimuli and messaging that tells us that we need to buy this or that in order to remake ourselves into an acceptable image before we can become successful. It just isn’t true. These are Band-Aids that hide what’s underneath—the Band-Aid doesn’t reveal what’s hidden.

The really, really good news is that Romancing Success from the inside out doesn’t require you to buy anything, go through years of therapy, or for you to be or do anything that doesn’t support the beautiful truth of who you are.  You can be and do you–the real you–and achieve maximum success!

To achieve great internal conditioning for the attainment of maximum success, begin romancing success today. Take the oath to live by the Four Agreement Advantage:

  1. Thou shalt not seek to buy or do more, but to become more. Ask yourself: How can I improve myself? It can be as simple as practicing positive thinking and speaking each day.
  2. Thou shalt not lower your standards to get something. If any person or situation requires you to lower your standards, compromise your values or represent yourself as someone you are not—then walk away. It isn’t meant for you and won’t bring you the success you are seeking. It will only delay you on your road to success.
  3. Thou shalt be true. A daily devotion to being loyal, truthful, trustworthy and acting in accordance with true facts and reality. Being false to yourself or to others is a surefire way to fail, rather than succeed. The long term consequences are not worth the instant gratification of using falsity to “get out of a sticky situation” or “doing what I did to get ahead and I’ll worry about it later.”
  4. Thou shalt practice your faith daily. Don’t delay in choosing a benevolent supreme power source that resonates with your beliefs. Touch base with it daily. The power of faith provides the power to persist and persevere.

“HUMAN HAPPINESS AND HUMAN SATISFACTION MUST ULTIMATELY COME FROM WITHIN ONESELF.” 14th Dalai Lama

Success manifests inside before it can manifest outside. The higher you ascend interiorly, in body, mind and spirit, the higher you ascend in external success.

In closing my shocking confession: As young as I can recall, I wanted to be and feel successful. Everyone told me, without a college degree or some other kind of pedigree, I wouldn’t be able to attract the kinds of jobs, clients, or partners that would allow me to “make it” in the real world. I listened to all these “experts” and began my quest to accumulate as many types of professional accreditations, degrees, awards and trophies…. all to show everyone, and prove to myself, that I was indeed a success.  The only problem was that in spite of the “trophies”, I DID NOT feel successful at all. One day, I looked up at all that “stuff” I had on display and realized, I had to stop showing and start becoming. I pulled everything off the wall and shelves, shoved them in a big box, and carted it out and put it in deep storage. No more Band-Aids. I wanted to heal and reveal myself from the inside out. The day I put all the external stuff out of sight marked the beginning of my journey to interior wellness. A short time after beginning to romance interior success, I felt a happiness I hadn’t experienced ever before and external success began to flow into my life.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: More Is Better and The Bigger the Better

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: More Is Better and The Bigger the Better

Who thinks more is better than less? In the words of that adorable child in the TV commercial…

“More is better than less because if there’s more less stuff, then you might want to have some more. WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE. If you really like something, you’ll want more of it”. 

The narrator closes with “It’s not complicated.”  But, the truth is, it is complicated. The slogans of More is Better and Bigger is Better, are more (no pun intended, ok maybe small pun intended) than mere words. They have become words wrapped in adorable little sales packages to get us to buy into addictive behavior patterns that fail to provide us with true success.  Addiction is not addition (something that adds benefit to you and your life), it is attrition (a wearing away of strength).

The advertising world is going to keep on selling us the false fix. It’s up to us to avoid taking the bait, and to focus our energy on attaining only those things which will directly deliver us true and lasting success. This requires mastering the art of minimalism.

My personal slogan is “Minimize to Maximize”. I know it may sound counter-intuitive—one must minimize in order to maximize, but that is indeed how selective attention works. It’s having the strength of character to select from many stimuli and to focus on only the one(s) that you want while filtering out non-pertinent and non-essential distractions.

“If you wanna fly, you have to give up the shit that weighs you down.” Toni Morrison

As a success coach, I can’t tell you how often I hear personal stories of those who have attained everything they thought would make them feel secure, happy and fulfilled; only to end up feeling quite the opposite.

It’s my life mission and master goal, not to let that happen to you.

Here are the 5 Keys Elements to Achieving Maximum Success Through Mastering the Art of Mindful Minimalism:

  1. Know Your Master Goal. Become crystal clear on the #1 most important thing in life to you and align all your thoughts, words, and behaviors with honoring it. This keeps you on the direct path to success and prevents the accumulation of non-essentials that divert you away from success.
  2. Know Why You Want What You Want. Uncover the need that you are striving to fulfill within yourself. Make any adjustments to it to ensure it is a healthy driver which will produce only essential add value benefits to you and your life.
  3. Practice the Law of Detachment. We all like nice things, but understand that we are not our things. Things come and go, so practice holding them loosely and use restraint in acquiring too much so as not to become enslaved by them. Self-esteem is acquired by becoming more not by having more.
  4. Live Your Own Dream Not Someone Else’s. Above all else, honor the truth of who you are, what you want to become and what you want to achieve during your lifetime. It is not uncommon that people will consciously or unconsciously go after someone else’s dream, attracting to them, too many people and things which are not essential to the truth of who they are and what they need to become happy and fulfilled.
  5. Adopt A Daily Practice of Avoiding Excess. Just like the TV commercial accurately portrays, our human instinct is to want more of anything that makes us feel good or distracts us from uncomfortable emotions. A conscious daily practice of avoiding excessive thoughts, words, and behaviors that distract us from maintaining a healthy balance of wealth and well-being, one day at a time, will produce a life of riches at all levels of existence.

Avow today, to get rid of, and stop accumulating, all the junk distracting you from achieving great success.

In closing my shocking confession: I’m a recovering “More, I Want More.” Addict. The “I want more syndrome” even began to show up in my scuba diving hobby. I began each dive with having to top my last dive experience. I NEEDED to see a bigger and bigger fish. Each dive had to deliver more of an experience than the last, otherwise I left feeling dissatisfied.  This one day, I just knew, would be the day that I’d get to dive with the biggest fish in the sea—the whale. I intentionally chose a dive where they were located. I had already experienced diving with everything smaller than the whale. This had to be the day. I dove in with great anticipation – nothing. No whale. I kept going. My tank was running low on air. I would have to return back soon to the boat. I pressed on in spite of the dangerously low air level. Shoot! I guess it isn’t going to happen. I felt dejected. Then, all of a sudden, I felt a huge presence fill the water surrounding me. I was like, YES! My next immediate thought was… what’s next after the big whale experience? I hadn’t even spotted the whale before my mind was “I need more and bigger”. Then, it happened. I become surrounded by not one, but an entire school of…drum roll…fluorescent sapphire blue tiny fish! There had to be at least 500 of them. They surrounded my entire body. When I moved left, they swayed left with me. When I swam deeper, they followed. It became a radiant oneness experience that I will never forget. And, in that moment, I realized that it is the small things in life that held the most meaning to me. God had given me a god-shot that day. A reminder to appreciate every single small thing in life, each and every day. The next dive I did, I didn’t see a single fish. I saw, for the very first time since my first dive many years prior, the great beauty of the underwater landscape, and was grateful that it still existed and that I was still alive and well and able to be a small part of its vast universe.