ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Overcoming Fear: 10 Ways To Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Overcoming Fear: 10 Ways To Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

You need to give a speech, but crowds terrify you. You know it’s time for a raise, but you don’t know how to work up the nerve to approach your boss. The work you’re doing now no longer satisfies, but finding something new is frightening. What if you don’t succeed?

Fear is a valuable thing. It keeps people safe and encourages caution when caution is due. But it’s also a limiting thing: Not everything you’re afraid of deserves fear or caution. And sometimes, moments of bravery are what are needed to make your life better.

So how do you step past the fear? The mental trick I use for overcoming fear is to do the research on what it is you want to do. If you want to skydive, research the topic and the best skydive schools around. Also, get out and watch and talk to others who are doing what you aspire to accomplish. Research breeds knowledge, and knowledge breeds confidence.

I, along with 9 other Forbes Coaches answered this question. Go to the full Forbes article to read all the inspiring answers.

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” ~Henry Ford

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: 1 Thing Your Success Strategy is Missing

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: 1 Thing Your Success Strategy is Missing

Business plans, budgets, goal setting, short-term and long-term objectives O’ My!

We’ve been there and done that. And yet, why, armed with a “functional” success strategy in hand, do so many fail to attain their desired outcomes on time or at all?

I figured out the hard way what my own strategy was missing and now I have the privilege of paying it forward to you. I sincerely hope that you will give it a try. It’s the 1 thing that turned my own success strategy on its head, turned me around and propelled me into rapidly achieving wealth and well-being.

Here’s the secret…it doesn’t start with conducting a market analysis. Instead, it starts with conducting a simple self-analysis to determine just how prepared you are to achieve success. I know, “self-analysis” sounds awfully NOT FUN. But, if I guaranteed you that by answering 1 question you’d be handed the single most important piece of information you’d need to achieve success in all areas or your life, I’d bet you’d jump at the opportunity.

“Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised.” American Proverb

You see, highly successful people are highly functioning. And, to be highly functioning one needs to know (just like knowing market barriers to entry) what one’s own personal barrier to entry is. We all have a predominate fault. That outstanding character trait that asserts itself into every aspect of our lives. But, don’t worry, because our biggest fault exists for the singular positive purpose of becoming our biggest asset. Arming yourself with the knowledge and a strategy for having power over it rather than it over you, becomes your most effective strategy for success.

What’s your predominate fault? Before you answer, let me give you a list of some common ones:

1. Impatience

2. Negative Thinking

3. Procrastination

4. Perfectionism

5. Self-Pity

6. Self-Justification

7. Fear

8. Tardiness

9. Dishonesty

10. Jealousy

Ok, now go ahead and answer the question. Now that you’ve identified it, what’s the next step to convert it to your biggest strength to achieve maximum success in minimum time?

Follow These 5 Steps to Convert Your #1 Fault into your #1 Asset & Strategy for Achieving Success:

1. Strive Every Day to Make Progress. An earnest and conscious effort is key to weakening, conquering and converting it into your biggest strength.

2. Pray. Ask your supreme power source, higher power, or God to remove it for the highest good of all concerned.

3. Meditate for Clarity. Before you start your meditation, ask the question: What could I be doing differently to be more constructive?

4. Don’t Quit. When it rears its head (and it will), pick yourself up and start again.

5. Get a Guide. Find a mentor, coach, sponsor or join a support group. Connect and utilize the experience, strength and guidance of those who have succeeded in overcoming the same predominate fault.

Once you become the master over your predominate fault, you become the master of your life. Now, that’s a masterful success strategy!

In Closing My Shocking Confession:

I have many faults (not so shocking confession LOL). But, seriously, the predominate fault I had was one I falsely believed was my biggest strength. Talk about denial. Reality smacked me in the face when it became crystal clear that, for the 1st time in my life, I wasn’t going to be able to accomplish a goal I’d set for myself. Time and time again I failed. Being a determined achiever, I had to find a way to succeed at overturning this defeat. To succeed, I had to face my predominate fault and then take an action to overcome it. I was terrified I tell you! But, I felt the fear and did it anyway. Gulp. Wanna know what my biggest fear/PF was?  Asking for help. I thought it meant I was weak and a loser. Little did I know that asking for help shows great character strength. Great leaders don’t go it alone. They seek out and get the best help they can find. I finally asked for help from someone who had overcome what I was struggling with and had achieved success as a result. Turns out that using my self-will to not ask for help was self-defeating in my quest to achieve success. I faced my fault and fear, got help and finally succeeded in conquering the self-defeating behavior. Today is my 28th CA birthday. 28 years free from cocaine addiction. Each, and every day, I remind myself that I do not have to go it alone. Nobody who is successful, achieves it on their own.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Becoming A Success is About 1 Thing

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Becoming A Success is About 1 Thing

It’s about “the climb”. Remember that Miley Cyrus song? Her song, The Climb, became a runaway hit in 2009. It won an MTV Award, Teen Choice Award and went Triple Platinum. It became a smashing success because it was a “power ballad” with a message that everyone could relate to.

“I can almost see it.
That dream I’m dreaming,
But there’s a voice inside my head saying,
“You’ll never reach it.”

The lyrics describe a successful person as one who has the strength of character to keep on moving forward no matter what self-doubt and challenges they face on their way up to the top. BUT, that Top is not the end game nor 1 outcome achieved the final reward. The lyrics go on to say…

“There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move….
Ain’t about what’s waitin’ on the other side…. It’s all about—it’s all about the climb.”

Inherent in the message is a hard truth that I have personally discovered about the core attribute that wildly successful people all have in common. That core attribute is an insatiable hunger to keep climbing in order to keep moving mountains. In essence, that it isn’t about the tangible reward attained, but fulfilling the intangible hard-wired need to continually evolve oneself and their own contribution to the world.

It’s a fire in the belly that never goes out. And, when you look back on any achievement, what you’ll remember most, is indeed, the climb you made to get there.

“But these are the moments
That I’m gonna remember most, yeah”

Do you have a fire in your belly that keeps moving you forward to climb yet another mountain?  If yes, comment below by typing “YES!”.  If you do, it’s a surefire sign that you are born to succeed and lead.

Lastly, no matter what you do….

“Keep on movin’
Keep climbin’
Keep the faith, baby
It’s all about—it’s all about the climb”

And, you too, just like the song itself, will win many awards along the way.

IN CLOSING MY SHOCKING CONFESSION: Early on as a newbie real estate salesperson, I was determined to achieve #1 salesperson status. I built a strategy to achieve it and poured 110% of myself into attaining it. I was hungry to make it happen. I never stopped, no matter what. I was gonna make it happen–period. It became the driving force in my life. Then, BAM, it became a reality. The day arrived that I was announced #1! What did I feel? I felt, like…. ‘Huh? Is that all there is? What now? What’s next?”. It felt good, for like a nanosecond, and then I was on to asking myself what was the meaning of what I had just achieved beyond the mere tangible symbol of success. I knew right then and there, that service to others, and helping them achieve their dream and their goals, was what the real win was…and that, I realized, was going to be a never-ending beautiful goal in my life.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: GOT GRIT? How to Get the Courage You Need to Succeed

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: GOT GRIT? How to Get the Courage You Need to Succeed

There is no doubt that attaining success in any and every area of life takes courage.  Courage is the inner strength that is mustered up to move one up and out of a place of fear and immobility into action.

It’s important to understand the difference between Action versus Reaction. It takes courage to take action. Action is positive proactive movement towards attaining one’s desired outcomes and borne out of rational analysis.  Reaction conversely, characterizes a lack of courage. It is a loss of impulse control, and is a state of over-emotionalism and irrationalism.

Success is the result of having the ability to control your behavior so that all your actions taken are a result of a conscious decision to live courageously. Living courageously means making a commitment to yourself to behave reasonably, rationally, and consistently, both internally and externally, to rigorously honor the truth of your own self, convictions, values and goals.

Here are the 8 Attributes You Need to Have the Courage to Succeed:

  1. Be Truthful. The saying “Then you will know Truth, and the Truth will set you free” is probably the most profound prophetic statement of how to achieve a successful life. The Truth is the laser that breaks through all emotional blindness, breaks down barriers and shines a light on the way forward to success. Think, speak, and act the truth.
  2. Embrace Change. Change is constant, whether we like it or not. You can be an agent and victor of change or the victim of someone else’s ability to cause change. Successful people chose to be a positive agent of change in their own and others’ lives.
  3. Be Okay with Saying No. “No” is a complete sentence. It takes courage not to people please, but it is necessary to say no to what isn’t a fit for you, your values and goals. A fear of saying no is a fear of rejection. But if you reject yourself, you’re rejecting courage and success.
  4. Live the Life of Your Own Choosing. Doesn’t succumb to the expectations of others on how they should live their own life.
  5. Take Calculated Risks. Takes well-thought out, researched risks. One who does not take calculated risks cannot progress. Smart risk taking gets easier with each risk taken. The key is to take that first leap of faith.
  6. Be Willing to Be and Do Different. Those who succeed the most at life are those who are bold in allowing themselves to be different and do things differently than those who have gone before them. The rewards for daring to be different are countess in both inner and outer riches.
  7. Endurance. Have the determination to keep going no matter what. Lives by the slogan “rest if you must, but don’t you quit”. Doesn’t count how many times they get knocked down, but how many times they get up.
  8. Faith. At the end of the day, courage takes faith. Faith comes from consciously connecting to a supreme power source that provides inspiration, motivation and a promise that if you do the right thing, positive outcomes are guaranteed.

  “Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” –John Wayne, an icon of True Grit

In Closing my shocking confession: I was scared to death. My battery of top advisors was telling me to give in to the demands of a mega corporation in spite of their fraudulent and bullying behavior. My shocked rebuttal was “but, but… that would be accepting the unacceptable and would embolden them to continue to do this to others.” I told them I had to do the “right thing”. Advisors told me that it would “ruin” me in every way and rob me of all my financial resources. I sat in prayer and meditation. I knew I had to do the right thing no matter what and have the faith that “the truth would set me free.” I took the bold and shocking move that many others did not have the courage to take. I exposed the behavior of the responsible person to the utmost regulating authority. I waited…there were more threats, more bullying.  I held strong. Then, the miracle happened. The person was fired from a top tier tenured executive position by the founder of the company! I received an outpouring of thanks from those within the company. Not only had clients of the company endured this unacceptable behavior, but so had the other employees in the company! I didn’t lose. I won. Courage paid off, not only for me, but countless others.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: The Warrior’s 5 Ways to Wealth

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: The Warrior’s 5 Ways to Wealth

The word “warrior” is a strong word and appropriately so. A warrior is a strong person. One who has earned the title because they’ve exhibited a sustained endurance in the fight to protect their values, beliefs and ideals. A warrior lives their life with honor, integrity and an unwavering commitment to Truth.

I bet you’re thinking “Wow, that all sounds really heavy! What’s that got to do with wealth creation?”  Here’s the answer. A master maker of riches is a person who has learned that their mindset and how they manage their mind is their biggest asset in wealth creation. A mindset that is married to Truth in all things is the mindset that can effectively cut through denial, illusion, ego, competition, challenges, set-backs, fluctuating global conditions and negativity.

In a nutshell, they are master makers of riches because they are master warriors.

“The master warrior is a man of character, a man of wisdom and insight.” Forrest E. Morgan

A master warrior knows that an unwavering commitment to Truth is what allows them to remain, sustain and grow their personal wealth at all levels of human existence.

Here are the Warrior’s 5 Ways to Wealth:

  1. Stay true to yourself no matter what. Wealth warriors do not allow criticism, judgement, fear and success to overtake them to the point they lose themselves, their values or morality.
  2. Be unafraid to challenge the status quo. Warriors see the status quo as limiting and representative of complacency. They continuously seek new ways to innovate, stretch the boundaries of human potential and are unafraid to promote change.
  3. Value allocation versus accumulation. Smart allocation of resources is what multiplies and strengthens wealth and accumulation is what decreases and weakens wealth. A habit of accumulation is a mindset of fear which does not provide expansive behavior leading to expansive wealth.
  4. Burning desire to improve humanity’s daily quality of life. The goods or services being promoted and sold are created with the primary goal to improve lives.
  5. Know when to rest, but never quit growing. An unrelenting drive to positively expand self, worldview and provide solutions. Periods of rest to prevent burn-out, brain-drain and provide optimal mental, physical, spiritual and intellectual endurance necessary for continued expansion.

The above fabulous five all have one thing in common. Fearlessness. Wealth warriors feel the fear and go ahead and take action anyway. It’s normal and ok to feel fear. We all do. What’s not productive is to allow fear to rule you, rather than you rule your fear.

In closing my shocking confession: I had a big presentation to give to major Hollywood insiders. I was NOT an insider. I was an outsider, but I had something that they wanted—money. They had something I wanted—an inspiring, hot property. As I presented my financial model and deal structure that would be acceptable to my investors, I witnessed shocked faces all around. I paused and asked “Why the surprise?” The reply was “Well, that just not ok. That’s not how it’s done here in Hollywood.” I simply said, “Why not?” The reply after a long pause was “Well, it’s just never been done that way before.” I had to advise them that if they wanted the funding that’s how it would need to be done. And, guess what?  They agreed to the deal! You see, this was at a time when the hedge funds pulled their capital out of Hollywood. By challenging the status quo, we were able to provide a win-win solution to expanding growth on all sides of the equation. BTW, the “hot property” was a film based upon the inspiring true story of one man’s rise to fame, loss of self, and journey to self-redemption.