ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire:  The High Price of Not Setting Boundaries

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: The High Price of Not Setting Boundaries

The word “boundary” has a negative connotation these days. And yet, it is a key concept that defines how to achieve successful relationships of every kind.  Every person has limits. Each person’s limits are different based upon many factors. There is no one-size fits all personal or professional boundary. This is what can make relationships risky.

Entering into any type of relationship, agreement, partnership or contract requires a lot of due diligence and even when due diligence has been performed at the highest levels, there is always inherent risk present. You just don’t know what the other person is capable of doing when faced with challenges that might arise during the engagement. Even in the absence of challenges, the other party may fail to perform.

I’ve been an entrepreneur all my adult life and have conducted business all over the world with small, mid-sized, fortune 500 companies and solopreneurs.  The risk is all the same, but the damages that can occur as a result of not knowing, setting and honoring your own boundaries can vary from minor to catastrophic. The bigger the fish, the greater the potential loss. But, regardless of the size of the fish, the sheer waste of time and energy expended to correct the breach is a drain financially, mentally, emotionally and physically.

The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything. ~Warren Buffett

Here’s How to Know, Set and Honor Your Boundaries to Maximize Your Success and Minimize Your Losses:

1. Know Yourself and Your Values. What behaviors are unacceptable to you? What’s you rule about 2nd chances? Do you allow 1 strike, 2 strikes, or none? What’s your #1 core value that if someone can’t abide, you walk away?

2. Don’t Violate Your Own Values. If you can’t honor your core values than you can expect nobody else will and it is the surest way to fail.

3. Walk Your Talk. If your behavior isn’t consistent with your promises or in general is inconsistent, the weakness will be noted and capitalized upon.

4. Clearly Communicate Your Requirements and Expectations. Take the time and make the effort to clearly set forth your requirements. This is an area where I see many companies and solopreneurs fail which causes them loss and hardship which could have been avoided.

5. Don’t Bluff. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you set a clear boundary with a promise to seek remedy, then follow through. Making false threats only escalates the problem, is a character trait of a poor leader and set’s you up for potentially even greater losses.

6. Fearlessly Set Your Boundaries. Learn to say no. Don’t let fear make your decisions for you. If you’ve been wronged, harmed or damaged by wrongful behavior of another party, then step out of fear and into action. Nonaction or delaying action can cause you to suffer far greater consequences than standing up for yourself early on.

In Closing My Shocking Confession: A CFO of a major national bank had just committed perjury against me in a take-over attempt to seize everything I owned! WTF!?? Even my well-seasoned attorneys couldn’t believe it. My very expensive team of attorneys immediately told me I’d get crushed and lose everything if I tried to go up against the giant with the truth. They told me to cut my losses and payout the huge amount of money and hand over the assets that they were demanding. I was exhausted after months and months of court proceedings. I was about to throw in the towel, when I thought about how my letting this guy get away with this was going to give him the confidence to keep doing this to others. I had to take the risk and honor my core values which included honesty and having a social conscience.  Exhausted, I dug deep, sorted through mountains of data and correspondence and found the one bit of evidence that confirmed his fraud. Fearlessly, I reported the individual to the appropriate authorities and sent the evidence along with a letter to the founder of the bank (against all attorney advice). He immediately fired the CFO and dropped the claim. I later received a thank you letter from an executive within the bank stating that both the employees and customers had endured years of abuse from this man.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Cash Flow Ninja Show Shares Wealth Building Strategies

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Cash Flow Ninja Show Shares Wealth Building Strategies

I was honored to be a guest on the popular business and investing podcast, Cashflow Ninja, with M.C. Laubscher of Valhallah Wealth. Cashflow Ninja (http://cashflowninja.com/), is featured on iTunes New and Noteworthy in Business, Education, and Health.

The show receives approximately 70,000 downloads per month and is listened to in over 150 countries! Previous guests include Robert Kiyosaki, and Bitcoin entrepreneur, Roger Ver.

The mission of the podcast, Cashflow Ninja, is to empower and inspire people to discover how to generate their own income in the Information Age and manage, grow and protect their own wealth in the New Economy.

In my Episode, You’ll Learn:

  • The Revolutionary New Definition of Success that allows you to create a lifetime of wealth and wellbeing amid today’s global challenges
  • The Two Single Most Important Questions you need to answer to jump start your shortcut to Maximum Riches in Minimum Time
  • The Best Advice I ever received that directly impacted my ability to become a self-made millionaire
  • The Biggest Lesson I learned on my journey to becoming a successful investor and entrepreneur
  • My Top Insider Wealth Building Strategies that I personally use every day
  • The 3 Most Important Success Principles that I relentlessly live by and hope to pass down to future generations for the creation of a more compassionate, wealthy, healthy and sustainably successful world

If you want to achieve maximum riches in minimum time and do great deeds in the world just by following a few core wealth and well-being strategies, download my episode here to make it happen now:

CashFlowNinja.com/187-Linda-Zander

Download, enjoy, share and feel free to comment.

Here’s to your ever-increasing wealth and well-being!

Linda, The Success Packager

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: 1 Thing Your Success Strategy is Missing

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: 1 Thing Your Success Strategy is Missing

Business plans, budgets, goal setting, short-term and long-term objectives O’ My!

We’ve been there and done that. And yet, why, armed with a “functional” success strategy in hand, do so many fail to attain their desired outcomes on time or at all?

I figured out the hard way what my own strategy was missing and now I have the privilege of paying it forward to you. I sincerely hope that you will give it a try. It’s the 1 thing that turned my own success strategy on its head, turned me around and propelled me into rapidly achieving wealth and well-being.

Here’s the secret…it doesn’t start with conducting a market analysis. Instead, it starts with conducting a simple self-analysis to determine just how prepared you are to achieve success. I know, “self-analysis” sounds awfully NOT FUN. But, if I guaranteed you that by answering 1 question you’d be handed the single most important piece of information you’d need to achieve success in all areas or your life, I’d bet you’d jump at the opportunity.

“Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised.” American Proverb

You see, highly successful people are highly functioning. And, to be highly functioning one needs to know (just like knowing market barriers to entry) what one’s own personal barrier to entry is. We all have a predominate fault. That outstanding character trait that asserts itself into every aspect of our lives. But, don’t worry, because our biggest fault exists for the singular positive purpose of becoming our biggest asset. Arming yourself with the knowledge and a strategy for having power over it rather than it over you, becomes your most effective strategy for success.

What’s your predominate fault? Before you answer, let me give you a list of some common ones:

1. Impatience

2. Negative Thinking

3. Procrastination

4. Perfectionism

5. Self-Pity

6. Self-Justification

7. Fear

8. Tardiness

9. Dishonesty

10. Jealousy

Ok, now go ahead and answer the question. Now that you’ve identified it, what’s the next step to convert it to your biggest strength to achieve maximum success in minimum time?

Follow These 5 Steps to Convert Your #1 Fault into your #1 Asset & Strategy for Achieving Success:

1. Strive Every Day to Make Progress. An earnest and conscious effort is key to weakening, conquering and converting it into your biggest strength.

2. Pray. Ask your supreme power source, higher power, or God to remove it for the highest good of all concerned.

3. Meditate for Clarity. Before you start your meditation, ask the question: What could I be doing differently to be more constructive?

4. Don’t Quit. When it rears its head (and it will), pick yourself up and start again.

5. Get a Guide. Find a mentor, coach, sponsor or join a support group. Connect and utilize the experience, strength and guidance of those who have succeeded in overcoming the same predominate fault.

Once you become the master over your predominate fault, you become the master of your life. Now, that’s a masterful success strategy!

In Closing My Shocking Confession:

I have many faults (not so shocking confession LOL). But, seriously, the predominate fault I had was one I falsely believed was my biggest strength. Talk about denial. Reality smacked me in the face when it became crystal clear that, for the 1st time in my life, I wasn’t going to be able to accomplish a goal I’d set for myself. Time and time again I failed. Being a determined achiever, I had to find a way to succeed at overturning this defeat. To succeed, I had to face my predominate fault and then take an action to overcome it. I was terrified I tell you! But, I felt the fear and did it anyway. Gulp. Wanna know what my biggest fear/PF was?  Asking for help. I thought it meant I was weak and a loser. Little did I know that asking for help shows great character strength. Great leaders don’t go it alone. They seek out and get the best help they can find. I finally asked for help from someone who had overcome what I was struggling with and had achieved success as a result. Turns out that using my self-will to not ask for help was self-defeating in my quest to achieve success. I faced my fault and fear, got help and finally succeeded in conquering the self-defeating behavior. Today is my 28th CA birthday. 28 years free from cocaine addiction. Each, and every day, I remind myself that I do not have to go it alone. Nobody who is successful, achieves it on their own.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: [IMPERATIVE]: Embrace Your Inner Salesperson for A Successful Life

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: [IMPERATIVE]: Embrace Your Inner Salesperson for A Successful Life

Each and every one of us is a natural born salesperson.  I know, you’re thinking “EWH! I’m not a salesperson!”. But, TRUST me on this; you are. Furthermore, it is a really good thing that you are.

A salesperson is merely someone who uses their powers of persuasion to influence others to TRUST them enough to listen to them in order to persuade them to do what they want them to do.  Can you name any position in life that doesn’t require this skill in order to succeed at what you’re trying to accomplish?

Regardless of your “position” in life, whether it be a parent, sibling, artist, chef, life partner or any other non-salesperson by trade related position, or if you are a salesperson by profession, you’ll need to maximize your innate ability to positively motivate people to take action on what you deem necessary for them to do to produce the successful outcomes collectively desired.  And, if you don’t, the axiom “use it or lose it” may end up being your outcome in the area of life that you wish to succeed.

The term “salesperson” has been given a really bad rap, which is unfortunate because the negative connotation prevents people from understanding and harnessing their own power of persuasion which is so necessary for them to achieve a successful life. It is true that some abuse their power of persuasion with intentions to benefit only self and to cause harm rather than good and mutual benefit. That’s not a salesperson; that’s a con.  Those who use deception in their attempt to persuade, are guaranteed failure. It’s an inescapable fact.

Yet, those who consciously chose to utilize their powers of persuasion for the highest positive outcome for all parties are guaranteed success. A true salesperson is one who will succeed not once, not twice, but perpetually. A true salesperson knows that there is only one master key that opens the door to everlasting success.  And, that key is integrity.

The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity. —ZIG ZIGLAR

A rigorous adherence to integrity, in any and all circumstances, is what builds trust. And, as every salesperson and leader knows, trust is what builds confidence, wins friends, influences people, produces loyalty, builds successful teams, partnerships, and relationships.

Get started on maximizing your persuasive powers for the attainment of everlasting success for yourself, your clients, friends, family and the world by using the below:

THE 5 ELEMENTS OF TRUST

1. “T” Truth. Use no deception ever.

2. “R” Reliability. Do what you say you will and show up as promised.

3. “U” Understanding. Seek to fully comprehend the goals, objectives and needs of those you are serving. Communicate with caring, concern and compassion.

4. “S” Service. Service to others is 1st priority always. The caveat is as long as putting service to others 1st doesn’t compromise your integrity, values or truth.

5. “T” Tenacity. Determination and not termination is a choice. Don’t quit before the miracle happens.

Use the below strategy to begin embracing your inner salesperson for a successful life:

“Today I make a commitment to be honest with myself. By facing reality, I become someone I can depend upon.” Courage to Change

In closing my shocking confession:  I always prided myself on being truthful, trustworthy and reliable. Everyone knew they could count on me…until the time when I STOPPED being that person. It happened in a blink of an eye. I didn’t realize how far I had slipped until it was too late. I wasn’t showing up or doing what I promised. Something had robbed me of my true inner self and I was misplacing my persuasive powers. I had become addicted to cocaine. What started out as recreational use became a bad habit. Thank God I got honest with myself and sought help before any real harm was done. I am now clean 28 yrs. The blessing is I got to see firsthand how even the strongest person can be taken over by indulging “just this one time” in any behavior that isn’t healthy. I’ve been relentless in rebuilding trust. And, anyone who knows me, knows they 100% can count on me.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Don’t Make Decisions…

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Don’t Make Decisions…

What !#@! Don’t make decisions? Now, how can that possibly be sound success advice? Let me tell you how too much decision making can afflict you with decision making madness disorder (I just made that up), but, it’s true! Too much decision making can deplete your brain power and cause you to suffer from decision fatigue. When your brain is in decision making overload it adversely affects your judgement, creativity and stamina. Not good for achieving your goals.

The question then begs to be answered — how then does one make all the many decisions that an entrepreneur must make without becoming victim of brain drain, losing focus and distancing one’s self from achieving their goals?

Here are the Top Five Strategies to Avoid Decision Fatigue:

1. Keep It Simple:
Get in the habit of not overly stressing about things that aren’t directly related to accomplishing your goal. Many people overly stress about their clothes, the right business card style, every single word in a speech, etc. Essentially, becoming obsessed with perfection and minutiae. Over-perfectionism will delay your time lines to success. Keeping it simple also applies to minimalism. To become super successful, less stressed, and avoid decision fatigue, strive for minimalism in all areas of your life. Less is more!

2. Use Discernment:
Each and every day we are confronted with many decisions that need to be made. The successful person knows how to prioritize decision making. Avoid becoming involved in any unnecessary or frivolous decision making. Be honest with yourself when you find yourself becoming mired in unimportant decision making (which color legal paper you are going to buy). It may be a sign you are avoiding an important, yet uncomfortable, decision that needs to be made or you are avoiding going for your goal all together.

3. Empower Not Disempower:
High achievers are naturally adept at problem solving and everyone around you is keenly aware of your ability to problem solve, take action and make decisions. And, they want your help to do the same for them. As achievers and entrepreneurs, we always want to go the extra mile for our families, friends, clients and coworkers. But, over-doing or doing what they are fully capable of doing for themselves, is not being of service. Rather than empowering them to achieve the results they want (and the self-esteem that goes along with it), it disempowers them. And, it also causes you brain drain.

4. Learn to Say No:
The best mentor I’ve ever had in my life taught me a very valuable lesson. She told me “Linda, no is a complete sentence. Practice it.” To avoid decision making fatigue, learn to say no — period. End of sentence. You do not have to give a defensive speech as why you’re saying no. Super successful people are very discerning with their time and energy. And, it’s not just from a time-management standpoint. It’s also from a Brain management standpoint.

They know they need to conserve their mental, physical, emotional and spiritual energy for what can positively contribute to outcomes in their own lives, others and the world.

5. Stay Focused on Your Master Goal:
For every single decision you need to make ask yourself these two very important questions 1) Is this decision going to take me closer to accomplishing my goal or further away from it? 2) Is this decision going to support my values or violate them?
If the answer to either is the latter, then you know it is not a sound decision and avoiding making an unsound decision will keep you on track to attain your goal and from going down a dark hole of having to make a whole bunch of future damage control decisions.

The super successful and super rich know that decision making fatigue is real. They create habits to avoid it to keep them on the path of productivity, innovation and success. President Obama for example says “You’ll see I wear only grey or blue suits. I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.” And, Mark Zuckerberg is a well-known advocate of avoiding early morning frivolous decision making which he says leads him to making better decisions on things that really matter throughout the day.

In closing my shocking confession: I was an intern as a Marriage, Family, Child Counselor because my dream was to help people. I was so shocked when I learned I couldn’t help every person that came through my door. I learned that some people weren’t really ready to be helped and that I had to know when I was helping or actually hurting their chances of success. I quickly got myself into CODA (Codependency Anonymous) and learned how not to be an enabler. In order to help, I had to focus on taking on those who were willing to help themselves. I learned that saying “no” is sometimes the most compassionate thing to do in honor of being of service, both to others and to myself.