Being offered a new job may sound wonderful. But there’s always more to think about than the salary and benefits offered.
Are you sure the job – and the company – is the best fit for you? What do you need to know before making your decision?
That question was recently put to members of the Forbes Coaches Council, and we offered our first-hand insights.
Whether it’s during the interview or after an offer has been made, ask these 13 essential questions and make sure the answers match your goals and values to ensure your success.
Read the full article at Forbes.com.
What do most of us think of when we decide we want a new client, new job, romantic partner, business partner, a raise, promotion, market share, funding, to become a known brand, or even to get accepted into a private club or school? Our mind begins to race in developing a plan to woo and wow, wine and dine, put on our best “game face” and/or produce a brilliant “dog and pony show”.
We may believe the above is how to go about the business of romancing success (because that’s what we’ve been conditioned to believe), but it isn’t. It isn’t about putting on a show to present an image we believe the other party wants to see. It’s quite the opposite.
Romancing success starts from within. It’s an inside job. Not an outside job. It’s the internal condition of a person that catalyzes or neutralizes external success. Great internal conditioning equals great external success. It’s really that simple.
Society bombards us with external stimuli and messaging that tells us that we need to buy this or that in order to remake ourselves into an acceptable image before we can become successful. It just isn’t true. These are Band-Aids that hide what’s underneath—the Band-Aid doesn’t reveal what’s hidden.
The really, really good news is that Romancing Success from the inside out doesn’t require you to buy anything, go through years of therapy, or for you to be or do anything that doesn’t support the beautiful truth of who you are. You can be and do you–the real you–and achieve maximum success!
To achieve great internal conditioning for the attainment of maximum success, begin romancing success today. Take the oath to live by the Four Agreement Advantage:
- Thou shalt not seek to buy or do more, but to become more. Ask yourself: How can I improve myself? It can be as simple as practicing positive thinking and speaking each day.
- Thou shalt not lower your standards to get something. If any person or situation requires you to lower your standards, compromise your values or represent yourself as someone you are not—then walk away. It isn’t meant for you and won’t bring you the success you are seeking. It will only delay you on your road to success.
- Thou shalt be true. A daily devotion to being loyal, truthful, trustworthy and acting in accordance with true facts and reality. Being false to yourself or to others is a surefire way to fail, rather than succeed. The long term consequences are not worth the instant gratification of using falsity to “get out of a sticky situation” or “doing what I did to get ahead and I’ll worry about it later.”
- Thou shalt practice your faith daily. Don’t delay in choosing a benevolent supreme power source that resonates with your beliefs. Touch base with it daily. The power of faith provides the power to persist and persevere.
“HUMAN HAPPINESS AND HUMAN SATISFACTION MUST ULTIMATELY COME FROM WITHIN ONESELF.” 14th Dalai Lama
Success manifests inside before it can manifest outside. The higher you ascend interiorly, in body, mind and spirit, the higher you ascend in external success.
In closing my shocking confession: As young as I can recall, I wanted to be and feel successful. Everyone told me, without a college degree or some other kind of pedigree, I wouldn’t be able to attract the kinds of jobs, clients, or partners that would allow me to “make it” in the real world. I listened to all these “experts” and began my quest to accumulate as many types of professional accreditations, degrees, awards and trophies…. all to show everyone, and prove to myself, that I was indeed a success. The only problem was that in spite of the “trophies”, I DID NOT feel successful at all. One day, I looked up at all that “stuff” I had on display and realized, I had to stop showing and start becoming. I pulled everything off the wall and shelves, shoved them in a big box, and carted it out and put it in deep storage. No more Band-Aids. I wanted to heal and reveal myself from the inside out. The day I put all the external stuff out of sight marked the beginning of my journey to interior wellness. A short time after beginning to romance interior success, I felt a happiness I hadn’t experienced ever before and external success began to flow into my life.
Who thinks more is better than less? In the words of that adorable child in the TV commercial…
“More is better than less because if there’s more less stuff, then you might want to have some more. WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE. If you really like something, you’ll want more of it”.
The narrator closes with “It’s not complicated.” But, the truth is, it is complicated. The slogans of More is Better and Bigger is Better, are more (no pun intended, ok maybe small pun intended) than mere words. They have become words wrapped in adorable little sales packages to get us to buy into addictive behavior patterns that fail to provide us with true success. Addiction is not addition (something that adds benefit to you and your life), it is attrition (a wearing away of strength).
The advertising world is going to keep on selling us the false fix. It’s up to us to avoid taking the bait, and to focus our energy on attaining only those things which will directly deliver us true and lasting success. This requires mastering the art of minimalism.
My personal slogan is “Minimize to Maximize”. I know it may sound counter-intuitive—one must minimize in order to maximize, but that is indeed how selective attention works. It’s having the strength of character to select from many stimuli and to focus on only the one(s) that you want while filtering out non-pertinent and non-essential distractions.
“If you wanna fly, you have to give up the shit that weighs you down.” Toni Morrison
As a success coach, I can’t tell you how often I hear personal stories of those who have attained everything they thought would make them feel secure, happy and fulfilled; only to end up feeling quite the opposite.
It’s my life mission and master goal, not to let that happen to you.
Here are the 5 Keys Elements to Achieving Maximum Success Through Mastering the Art of Mindful Minimalism:
- Know Your Master Goal. Become crystal clear on the #1 most important thing in life to you and align all your thoughts, words, and behaviors with honoring it. This keeps you on the direct path to success and prevents the accumulation of non-essentials that divert you away from success.
- Know Why You Want What You Want. Uncover the need that you are striving to fulfill within yourself. Make any adjustments to it to ensure it is a healthy driver which will produce only essential add value benefits to you and your life.
- Practice the Law of Detachment. We all like nice things, but understand that we are not our things. Things come and go, so practice holding them loosely and use restraint in acquiring too much so as not to become enslaved by them. Self-esteem is acquired by becoming more not by having more.
- Live Your Own Dream Not Someone Else’s. Above all else, honor the truth of who you are, what you want to become and what you want to achieve during your lifetime. It is not uncommon that people will consciously or unconsciously go after someone else’s dream, attracting to them, too many people and things which are not essential to the truth of who they are and what they need to become happy and fulfilled.
- Adopt A Daily Practice of Avoiding Excess. Just like the TV commercial accurately portrays, our human instinct is to want more of anything that makes us feel good or distracts us from uncomfortable emotions. A conscious daily practice of avoiding excessive thoughts, words, and behaviors that distract us from maintaining a healthy balance of wealth and well-being, one day at a time, will produce a life of riches at all levels of existence.
Avow today, to get rid of, and stop accumulating, all the junk distracting you from achieving great success.
In closing my shocking confession: I’m a recovering “More, I Want More.” Addict. The “I want more syndrome” even began to show up in my scuba diving hobby. I began each dive with having to top my last dive experience. I NEEDED to see a bigger and bigger fish. Each dive had to deliver more of an experience than the last, otherwise I left feeling dissatisfied. This one day, I just knew, would be the day that I’d get to dive with the biggest fish in the sea—the whale. I intentionally chose a dive where they were located. I had already experienced diving with everything smaller than the whale. This had to be the day. I dove in with great anticipation – nothing. No whale. I kept going. My tank was running low on air. I would have to return back soon to the boat. I pressed on in spite of the dangerously low air level. Shoot! I guess it isn’t going to happen. I felt dejected. Then, all of a sudden, I felt a huge presence fill the water surrounding me. I was like, YES! My next immediate thought was… what’s next after the big whale experience? I hadn’t even spotted the whale before my mind was “I need more and bigger”. Then, it happened. I become surrounded by not one, but an entire school of…drum roll…fluorescent sapphire blue tiny fish! There had to be at least 500 of them. They surrounded my entire body. When I moved left, they swayed left with me. When I swam deeper, they followed. It became a radiant oneness experience that I will never forget. And, in that moment, I realized that it is the small things in life that held the most meaning to me. God had given me a god-shot that day. A reminder to appreciate every single small thing in life, each and every day. The next dive I did, I didn’t see a single fish. I saw, for the very first time since my first dive many years prior, the great beauty of the underwater landscape, and was grateful that it still existed and that I was still alive and well and able to be a small part of its vast universe.