This article was originally published on Forbes.com
As a long-term entrepreneur and success coach, I have direct experience dealing with my own and clients’ career frustration. It happens to virtually everyone in every field — regardless of the position you hold.
If not dealt with effectively, the experience of frustration can become overwhelming, unmanageable, scary and even paralyzing. Armed with the proper frustration-busting strategies, you can quickly turn what may feel like a negative no-way-out or doomsday situation into an opportunity for positive change, greater personal and professional expansion and increased success.
When you find yourself stuck in feelings of frustration about your career, here are four steps you can take to get unstuck and move forward in a positive direction:
Step 1: Shift The Energy
The first thing to do is break up the feelings of frustration by refocusing your attention on something different that you have control over. Here are some examples:
A: Move into a different environment that brings you a sense of peace or calm — do something healthy like go outside for a walk or run, or do some other kind of exercise.
B: Go to your favorite coffee shop and sit and sip for a break.
C: Find a quiet place to meditate for 15 minutes.
D: Switch your focus off the source of frustration and onto a work-related task that you enjoy (something that gives you a feeling of joy and accomplishment) and that doesn’t require anyone else’s involvement, such as writing an article.
Most frustration is born out of the inability to get others to do what you want or need them to do. Therefore, by focusing your energy on a task that you have complete control over, you can release the feelings of frustration that bind you. This can take you back into a positive mindset and allow you to revisit the source of frustration and problem-solve in a more rational state of mind.
Step 2: Evaluate The Source Of Frustration
After you’ve returned to a state of calm, it’s time to take a rational and realistic look at the situation and assess whether there is, in fact, a real problem to be solved or whether your own character traits might be causing self-inflicted frustration. Personally, I can allow my tendency to be impatient to cause frustration at times. Write an honest evaluation of your own and/or others’ part in the frustration that you’re feeling. Be honest with yourself, and specifically identify your character traits (unrealistic expectations of others, impatience, fear of the future, etc.).
Step 3: Take Action
If you see that your own traits — such as perfectionism, impatience and unrealistic expectations of others — might be getting in the way of being in a positive state of mind, then commit to working on them to become more effective and successful. Shift the focus off of others and onto yourself by conducting an honest appraisal of yourself. Ask yourself these questions, and write down your answers: What could I be doing better to evolve myself? What could I be doing better in this situation that’s causing me so much frustration? Why am I allowing this to cause me so much stress?
Journaling is one of the best ways to work on your character defects. Another way is to work with a coach or mentor to help you identify what’s at the root of the fear that’s driving the frustration. This can release the fear that binds you, help you liberate yourself from those traits and maximize success in minimum time.
If you find that it’s someone else who is leading to your frustration — because they’re failing to do what they’re responsible for or they aren’t capable of performing their job — then the next step might be to either talk to them about their performance or to begin the search to replace them.
Step 4: Don’t Settle For Less
Sometimes we stay the course in jobs, relationships and situations long after we’ve seen the hard evidence that they aren’t a healthy fit for our career goals or our overall well-being. It’s often uncomfortable to confront the reality that it may be time to move on, but staying in an unhealthy situation for too long will likely continue to cause you frustration and postpone the achievement of your goals. In the end, it probably doesn’t serve you or others involved.
If you find that something in your current career is a consistent source of frustration after having taken all of the above steps, don’t see it as a sign of failure, but rather as a sign of your own positive growth. Congratulate yourself because it means that you’ve put in the hard work and are now ready for an upgrade to something more fulfilling that can serve to help you attain true success, which I believe is a balanced achievement of both wealth and well-being.
Being offered a new job may sound wonderful. But there’s always more to think about than the salary and benefits offered.
Are you sure the job – and the company – is the best fit for you? What do you need to know before making your decision?
That question was recently put to members of the Forbes Coaches Council, and we offered our first-hand insights.
Whether it’s during the interview or after an offer has been made, ask these 13 essential questions and make sure the answers match your goals and values to ensure your success.
Read the full article at Forbes.com.
Need to break a bad habit?
We all know it’s harder to overcome bad habits than form good ones. We vow repeatedly to make improvements in our lives, and we might succeed temporarily. But usually our willpower fails and we’re back at square one.
So, what’s the secret to kicking your vices?
I was asked, along with a dozen other members of the Forbes Coaches Council to offer insights on this topic.
You’ll have to be honest with yourself about any bad habits…and you might need some outside help to overcome them.
Find 13 accountability tricks to help you break a bad habit in this Forbes article. Enjoy!
You need to give a speech, but crowds terrify you. You know it’s time for a raise, but you don’t know how to work up the nerve to approach your boss. The work you’re doing now no longer satisfies, but finding something new is frightening. What if you don’t succeed?
Fear is a valuable thing. It keeps people safe and encourages caution when caution is due. But it’s also a limiting thing: Not everything you’re afraid of deserves fear or caution. And sometimes, moments of bravery are what are needed to make your life better.
So how do you step past the fear? The mental trick I use for overcoming fear is to do the research on what it is you want to do. If you want to skydive, research the topic and the best skydive schools around. Also, get out and watch and talk to others who are doing what you aspire to accomplish. Research breeds knowledge, and knowledge breeds confidence.
I, along with 9 other Forbes Coaches answered this question. Go to the full Forbes article to read all the inspiring answers.
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” ~Henry Ford
I am honored to be featured by Forbes on their Forbes Coaches Council blog spotlighting Super Sized Success and its Maximum Riches Formula(tm).
Their interview , originally published at ForbesCouncils.com, is below. Please have a read and share!
Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only organization for successful leading business and career coaches. In this spotlight series, we profile our incredible members and share their advice with you. This week: Linda Zander.
Linda Zander is the founder and CEO of Supersizedsuccess.com, serial entrepreneur, best-selling author, public speaker, and success expert.
What inspired you to become a coach?
At 10 years old, my life path revealed itself to me. There was no big event that triggered the realization. I was a highly intuitive child who couldn’t ignore the glaring truth: everywhere I looked people were “living” lives of not-so-quiet discontent. Fear was the driving force of their existence.
I had a burning desire to liberate them from fear and the lack of security, peace of mind and fulfillment it produced. I knew deep within my heart that I could help recast them into the success stories I could clearly see existed within them.
I embarked on a career as an MFC Counselor. Through that journey, I provided counseling to people trapped in self-damaging habits including anorexia, obesity, drug addiction, reoccurring debt, self-cutting, perfectionism, narcissism and compulsive lying. They were young adults, housewives, psychologists, high-level business executives, pro-athletes and even one gang member. They came from poor, middle-income and wealthy families.
I quickly discovered that “conventional” therapy does not address the whole person. And as such, it fails to provide a reliable, sustainable or direct path to recovery, self-esteem and success.
Then, the “A-ha” moment came: Build a holistic model of success moving people off the “couch” and into taking daily esteemable action in all areas of their lives: mental, physical, spiritual and financial. Provide them a more liberating, exhilarating (not emotionally draining), quickened and sustainable path to success. Thus, Super Sized Success and its Maximum Riches Formula™ was born.
What one piece of advice do you find yourself relying on most? Why?
“Be truthful, gentle and fearless.” I practice this advice from Gandhi daily. His extraordinary life is an example of what having a vision, self-restraint, personal responsibility, fearlessness, compassion and leading a values-driven life can do for not only yourself but for all humanity. He has proven that living one’s truth is the non-negotiable way to achieve and sustain success.
What is the biggest hurdle your clients face? What advice would you give others struggling with this issue?
The biggest hurdle my clients face is not knowing their core values and the intangible “why’s” behind their goals, which are their innate internal drivers. Discover the truth of who you are, create goals and make decisions that are consistent with that truth. In so doing, you will achieve a quickened path to a well-balanced life of wealth and well-being. To kick start the process, I ask my clients one very important question: What is the most important thing in the world to you and why?