ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire:  Why Your Goals Are Robbing You of Success

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Why Your Goals Are Robbing You of Success

Times have changed, but what hasn’t changed is the age-old practice of making goals, especially at the beginning of each new year.

We’ve all heard the saying “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”. And, it’s a very accurate truism.

You want more success than you have today. You have big dreams. You have a vision. You probably even made a vision board (another age-old practice that needs an update) …and you have BIG goals.

Time to stop the insanity of repeating behavior that isn’t giving you the results you want. Here’s the hard truth about goals and vision boards. They don’t work unless you do one thing first and foremost.  If you don’t, there is a happenstance chance you’ll get some results from them, but they won’t provide you the real ever-lasting success that you want because they aren’t grounded in the reality that you must do this one thing first.

It’s not your fault! Nobody has taught you the real secret to success. Oh, and by the way, how’s the producer of THE SECRET doing with success in their own life today? See what I’m saying? You literally have not been taught what I’m about to tell you.

I’m not touting myself as some special person with secret knowledge or powers. I learned what I’m about to tell you the hard way. Through years of doing  it the wrong way merely by creating vision boards and making goals and visualization.

So, here it is …I hope and pray that you will give it a go. Do and focus only on this one thing to create, attain and sustain ever-lasting wealth and well-being. That one single non-negotiable is relentlessly GROW YOURSELF.

Now, I know we’ve all heard the phrases: transform and heal yourself. That’s all very new agey and yes, they all have merit. It’s just that GROW yourself has a different focus. It focuses not on fixing your broken self, which connotes that you aren’t good enough in your present condition and you can’t progress until you’re fixed. Growing yourself means that you have within you right here and now all the tools and talents within you to achieve success. It means that through self-exploration you are able to mine the richness within you, and release them into physical reality.

The cold reality is that goals fail us most often because if you don’t first and foremost make an internal shift, the external shift will not occur or will fail over time.

Every year, people start diets, exercise programs, classes, etc. And then they stop. Why? Because they haven’t grown themselves first to ensure they are wholly conditioned to sustain the effort required to accomplish their goals.

Grow yourself - Know yourself

Here are the Top Five Ways to Grow Yourself:

1. Know your most predominant positive character trait and expand the expression of it in all your endeavors.

2. Know what makes you most reactive and practice non-reactiveness daily.

3. Know the single behavior that is keeping you small. Do what it takes to create new habits that will get you out of that box.

4. Know what makes you feel the happiest and do more of it.

5. Develop a strong faith based practice which will lead you to having a healthy detachment from ego.

Success, is after all an inside job. Keep it upbeat, know your worth and just go ahead and grow yourself and watch how you’ll organically and intuitively be guided to attaining the sustainable health, wealth and well-being you long to achieve.

In Closing My Shocking Confession: I did what all the new age gurus told me to do. I created a vision board, each and every year, and tucked it away from prying eyes in a “sacred space.” I made the goal list every year: my 1st million, this deal or that deal go through, career advancement, mansion on the hill, “the guy”, etc. All the while, I was having a challenging time quitting an addiction. After reading endless amounts of self-help books, I figured maybe they were right. Maybe I was just too inherently flawed and broken to succeed. It all felt so heavy and pathetic. I just couldn’t connect to the victim, self-pity party, put my life on hold till I fix my broken self-route. I sought help from people who saw me not as flawed, but as an inherently healthy and talented person who needed to know herself to grow herself and succeed.   They helped me to know myself, stay true to it and to succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Oh, on February 15th, 2018 I celebrate 29 yrs. addiction free.

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Convert Your Losses into Wins for Ever Lasting Success

ON THE COUCH: Shocking Confessions of a Self-Made Millionaire: Convert Your Losses into Wins for Ever Lasting Success

Happy New Year! I’m determined to make this my most successful year ever! How about you?

No matter how much success or lack of success you’ve achieved up to this point, there is always a way forward to expand your wealth and well-being. But, expansion takes introspection, and if you’re not willing to go to any lengths to grow yourself, how can you possibly believe you’re going to increase your wealth and well-being? It’s magical thinking to believe you’ll get that which you want and haven’t yet gotten, by doing the same ole’ things. To get what you want, you must do something different. And, your own happiness and success is 100% your full responsibility, not anybody else’s.

The New Year is always a good time to take a fearless personal inventory of yourself to realistically determine what new behaviors and habits you need to do to achieve the success that you want in 2018 and beyond.

One immediate way to enter the new year and to shift your attitude to a success mindset is to begin to see every single outcome as an opportunity to increase your success. You see, defeat only becomes failure if you accept it as such. Defeat is an opportunity waiting to be transformed into a bigger success than if you had achieved victory the 1st go around—that is if you know how to convert your losses into wins.

Here Are the Top Four Ways to Convert Your Perceived Losses into Even Greater Wins:

1. Attitude is Everything: Adopt a winner’s attitude about success by understanding that you will win some and lose some. The uber successful know that it’s not whether they win or lose that counts, but how they handle both scenarios that will determine the amount of sustainable success they’ll be able to achieve going forward. Have an attitude of grace, gratitude and a commitment to extract the growth opportunity in every win or loss and you’ll succeed beyond your expectations.

2. Drop the Blame Game: Blame is a total waste of valuable energy, that time spent there, only delays your time frames to your next win. Take the hit, grab the gold in what the situation revealed and move into renewed action.

3. Use Hindsight as a Valuable Tool: All positive action starts with assessment. Use rational analysis rather than self-loathing to evaluate what you’ve learned, what you’ll do differently or additionally next time around. Seeing hindsight as an asset and roadmap to your next win will make the assessment a positive experience.

4. Be a Long-Term Player: Everyone wants to be a long-term player, but not everyone has the long-term player play book. Only the grateful, graceful, good sportsmanlike behaved, and compassionate person (who truly cares about everyone’s success), will become a successful long-termer. Those who don’t, won’t or can’t, simply will not be able to sustain success in the long-run.

Be a good sportsman and have a successful yearIf you can honestly say that you went all in it to win it, regardless of the perceived outcome, you’ve won. Be truthful with yourself in assessing if you gave 100% commitment to the process and if not, don’t beat yourself up. Use the valuable insight gained to grow your success going forward. That’s what winners do.

We are perfectly imperfect human beings. But, if you continue to do the interior work by taking fearless personal inventory, you will continue to grow yourself and your ability to expand your everlasting wealth and well-being.

In Closing My Shocking Confession: I was looking for a company to place a very large order with. There were a handful of companies who threw their hat in the ring to compete to win the bid. I was one-third the way through the selection process, when a company who was one I had initially reached out to, finally came forward. Though late on the scene, the executive was very personable, communicative, informative and within competitive market cost range. It finally came down to choosing between the late-comer and the first-comer. The first-comer had earned an early advantage that the late-comer just wouldn’t be able to make up in the time frames I needed. Once I advised the late-comer that I had decided to go with his competitor, but that I would be awarding another contract next quarter, the exec dropped me like a hot potato – no reply.  In hindsight, the late on the scene action was a tip-off of the type of unsportsmanlike conduct that would later be revealed. He not only lost once, but lost all my business going forward.